Porn—When You Don’t Get It

confusion by Stuart Miles

image courtesy of Stuart Miles / freedigitalphotos.net

“How does she not get it?” I had a horrible fight with my mother today, and this is the question running through my mind. The long and short of it is that my uncle, who recently had a massive stroke and is requiring 24-hour care from my mom and sister, has been watching pornography non-stop on his computer for the past few weeks. Now, this is the same uncle who carelessly introduced me to pornography more than 25 years ago, so while not a surprise, it is unacceptable that he would do this in my mother’s house, where an eight-year-old girl lives 80% of the time. Naturally, considering my recovery, my disdain for pornography, and my ministry, I am furious, and I called and unleashed said fury on my mother. I made her cry in my passionate attempt to let her know she needed to take a stand for righteousness—something she has not done well in the past (she’s an S personality/servant gift to my D personality/prophet gift). But the call did not end well, and now I’m upset—because she doesn’t seem to understand.

If you’ve suffered from a pornography addiction, and you feel like people just don’t “get it” when it comes to porn, here’s a few things to remember:

  • People may not understand your pain. My mother did not notice how passionate and indignant I got when I first heard about the pornography debacle with my uncle. She is clueless about how my sister feels about him watching porn behind her as they sit in the living room. In addition, it seems my mom knows nothing about the effects of pornography on a person’s mind. I ask myself, “How can my mom not know, when I am so very open with everyone about my past addiction, when my own ministry seeks to end pornography?” I also wondered how she could be so calm and nonchalant about a situation that clearly has upset my sister and me. I felt like Jesus with the disciples—“Are you still so dull?” (Matt. 15:16). How come you don’t understand yet? Today’s conversation reminded me that she hasn’t suffered through this addiction. She barely even spoke about sex with me growing up. So of course she doesn’t “get it.” There are always going to be people who don’t understand some circumstance you’ve been through—or don’t want to admit they understand. The key is knowing that you have to…
  • Keep talking anyway. The more you talk about the issues you’ve had with porn, the more freedom you get. When you keep the truth hidden deep within yourself and you don’t address it with or acknowledge it to others, you remain a slave to your addiction. So keep talking! Perhaps my problem is that I have not talked with my mom enough about the pain that pornography caused in my life. Today, I told her that I yelled at her because I didn’t feel she ever thought this was important or urgent. This lack of urgency on her part made me feel unprotected, and I was afraid she was going to not protect the eight-year old that now lives with them. After our fight, I texted her a lengthy set of messages that included an apology and this text: “I love you. What I do not love is how pornography stole my childhood, my innocence, my freedom, my ability to have normal, loving relationships with the opposite sex.” I know that I have told my mom before about porn’s effects on me. But I said it again because hopefully one day she will gain some understanding about the addiction from which I’m still healing.

The Bible says, “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold.” Recovery from porn is a lifelong process, and you may have to help others get understanding about it from time to time. You may go about it the wrong way, or you may do it perfectly: the point is to just keep talking, so you and others can be blessed in the process!

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Porn—When You Don’t Get It

  1. jesusgetstheglory777333

    If porn disappeared from the face of the earth it would directly result in men rising up to be a great part of the Body of Christ. The spiritual implications and soul ties of watching other people have sex are very daunting for us to deal with as a culture. My hope is that as the romance anointing is released back into the Body. Sexual perversion will face a sound defeat. I believe the Song of Solomon has a lot of answers for us in these areas that have not been tapped into yet. But its definately a Mercy Season book of the bible. And 2016 is going to be important related to Paris France and the Romance of the Bride. Paris is Mercy and France is Exhorter. If you put Mercy and Exhorter together it gives the highest level of both sexual perversion, or on the righteous side the highest level of deep physical affection. We need to close the abortion hole and deal with the sexual perversion of our nation.

    Reply
  2. Escape From Porn

    A very complex issue. Porn viewing changes the way your brain works, and it’s not as easy as just saying, “stop”! You are correct on all of your assumptions. It is tearing us apart as a culture, as we become more and more accepting of it. The porn of today is more violent and more degrading of women than it ever has been. Our young sons are getting a steady diet of hard core porn from about the age of 10 or 11. Porn is teaching them how to treat a woman…that women are just objects for their gratification. Watch the news….Is it any wonder that sexual related crimes are on the rise.
    Watch http://www.yourbrainonporn.com. Dr. Wilson shows very clearly the pitfalls of regular porn use. Sadly, porn has also become the drug of choice for Christian men. It allows them to get the same “highs” that come with many intoxicating substances, but it’s free, plentiful, always changing and isn’t detectable by the average person.
    When will the maddness end?

    Reply
    1. pushyprophetgirl Post author

      I agree! Unfortunately, though, it’s not just our sons, but our daughters! The 8-year-old girl who lives with my family has already downloaded three porn apps onto her Kindle. In addition, the increasing number of Christian women who are watching porn or addicted to it is staggering as well. Add into it “accepted” porn like Fifty Shades of Gray, and women are getting more and more involved in the degradation of other women, themselves, and humanity. It’s truly unreal!

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s