Tag Archives: Christianity

Questions, Christians, and 50 Shades of Grey

questions by Stuart MilesI’m not going to see 50 Shades of Grey. I think that, if you’ve read my testimony and followed my blog, you know that for me to see that would be incredibly hypocritical. I did not read the books, and I am not following the hype. But I am on social media, and I know people are excited about it—even many Christians. And I don’t understand that. I have been reading comments on social media from Christians who are going to see the movie, and trying to understand their reasons for doing so. In response, bear with me as I ask some questions to get us thinking—and praying.

Some Christians have claimed that it is a redemptive love story—because Christian Grey comes from a very dark past, and eventually, this young lady saves him from that dark past. I understand redemption, because the best redemptive love story can be found in the Bible—and because I have lived through redemption myself. I was very lost in a world of porn and addiction to sexual promiscuity, so I do somewhat understand that about Christian Grey. But my question is this: does a love story of redemption need to include lewd and graphic sexual content to tell the story? In other words, do you need to see a video of my sexual escapades in order for me to tell my story of redemption? Of course not. If I posted a video of myself having sex with someone as part of my story here, Christians would RIGHTLY be enraged. But some of these same Christians will go into a movie theater and watch lewd sexual situations in this movie because “it is part of the characters’ redemptive love story.” Both situations are pornography. One is more acceptable by Christians. My brothers, this should not be so.

The other aspect to the “redemptive love story” claim is the idea of trying to present darkness as light. I have done this a lot in the past to justify my decision to do something I know is not increasing my Christlikeness. But I am reminded of a few things from God’s Word. First, the devil presents lies as truth and darkness as light. In Genesis 3, that is exactly how he deceived Adam and Eve. Even today, he continues as the great deceiver who packages some aspect of the light (it’s a redemptive love story) around darkness (it’s also full of sexual deviance and mistreatment). He is, of course, the father of lies. And the Bible is very clear that Satan and his servants disguise themselves as angels of light and servants of righteousness (2 Corinthians 11:14). So my question is this: have you been fooled into believing that this movie’s darkness is light?

I have also seen many Christians who will see this movie claim, “you can’t judge me,” “don’t judge me,” or “only God can judge me.” Interestingly enough, Matthew 7:1 is American Christianity’s favorite Bible verse to quote. American Christians, in my opinion, don’t believe they should be held accountable for the choices they make. And that is simply not true. To judge is to hand down the verdict as to whether or not you are guilty and I give you a sentence based on your guilt. And it’s true—only God can do that. But when there’s a standard or a law that you obviously don’t live up to, then I can and should point that out and lovingly correct you. Paul even gave us the how-to guide for that in Galatians (6:1, and chapter 2 when he lived it out). In fact, most of Paul’s letters were written to point out blatant sin in the church—but Paul was not God, so should we disregard most of the New Testament? Of course not! As fellow believers, we do indeed have not only the right but the responsibility to lovingly hold each other accountable for our sins, including impurity, lewdness, pornography, and fornication—all things represented in the movie 50 Shades of Grey. And that’s why we need to think before we say, “don’t judge me.” But my question is: would you even need to say “don’t judge me” if you weren’t doing something that you knew was not in line with Scripture?

I can’t tell anyone what choice to make, but I can tell those who claim to be believers what the Bible says. It says to flee sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18), to think on pure things, to be pure as God is pure. We don’t do these things because we are prudes, we do them because we want to please God with our actions and our thoughts. We do them because our example, Jesus Christ, would. God’s will for every believer is simple: Christlikeness (see Genesis through Revelation). So my question is: how does seeing this movie contribute to your Christlikeness? Because that is the question we should be asking ourselves—not just about this movie, but about everything we say and do.

I pray that Christians will begin to stand up for Jesus Christ and the Holy Word, not Christian Grey and Hollywood.

Read more awesome coverage about reasons to skip 50 Shades of Grey here, here, and here, or check out an awesome book about Christian women and our awesome sexuality “Pulling Back the Shades” by Dannah Gresh here.

Authentic Responsibilities: You Can’t Judge Me

Judge Gavel by cooldesign

image courtesy of cooldesign / freedigitalphotos.net

“Authentic Responsibility #1: I alone am responsible for judging (evaluating, assessing) me – my motives (intent, needs, feelings, spirituality, abilities, intelligence, priorities, values) and to determine any adjectives that describe me. Therefore, I may refuse any judgment of me.”*

One of the biggest news stories this week came after the Seattle-San Francisco playoff game this past weekend. Cornerback Richard Sherman of the Seahawks had just made an incredible play; he then proceeded to give an interview with a reporter that blew up social media. In my own social media timelines, I saw words like “ghetto;” “disrespectful;” “unprofessional;” and some other unrepeatable phrases. Sherman is a known trash-talker, an incredible athlete and student of the game, and a beast at his position. He also graduated second in his high school class in Compton, graduated from Stanford University, and has started a charity to educate kids from his hometown. However, after one interview, people have judged him as nothing but a classless thug.

We humans are a judgmental group of people. Even Christians sometimes fall into the judgment trap because we believe that by pointing out others’ flaws, we are holding them accountable (not being judgmental). However, there is a fine line between conviction and condemnation. The devil condemns and often uses others—even Christians—to condemn us and attack our identity, personality, and worth (like some did with Sherman). The Holy Spirit deals in conviction—of wrong behavior, thought processes, and sin. As Christians, we need to make sure we are dealing in accountability that convicts, not judgmental attitudes that condemn (Luke 6:37). Mostly, we need to be our own judge—nonjudgmental while firmly establishing ourselves in the correct judgments of ourselves and others.

So what are three ways you can embrace the authentic responsibility of being your own judge?

  • Stop judging others yourself. We contribute to the issue when we continue handing out judgments to others. I am constantly working on this! A few months ago, I would have jumped right into bashing Richard Sherman as an unprofessional ghetto thug. But after that interview, I was convicted to find out more about him. A friend and I shared positive stories about him via social media the entire next day. While many were vilifying him, I sought to understand him. I can now call myself his fan because I learned you can’t judge a man by one interview. Start with one person and stop the cycle of judgment (Matthew 7:1–5).
  • Start refusing others’ judgments of yourself. This includes positive judgments! If we refuse only the negative judgments others have of us and revel in the positive ones, we will be too eager to believe our own hype—especially if it comes from the mouths of others. We must be cautious about pride and about allowing others’ negative views of us to become our own. Interestingly enough, this commercial for Beats by Dre came out the day after Sherman’s interview (warning: explicit language, please pardon):

So be your own judge (Romans 2:1). But don’t just hear what you want to hear…

  • Keep believing God’s judgment about you from His Word. This is the only fail-safe plan to knowing your identity and understanding who you really are, what your motives are, and what adjectives describe you. God has written these things down in His Word for us to read and re-read and then read again. Take some time to search the Scriptures to find out just how much the Lord loves you. It’s the one judgment worth reading!

The first step in authentic responsibility is taking responsibility for evaluating yourself—and believing the true Word about who you are.

How do you take authentic responsibility for judging yourself? Share in the comments or contact me today for a free 30-minute Identity Intensive!

*Taken from Authentic Responsibilities by Kathryn Chamberlin, LCSW-C.


2012-11-25 11.54.52

Welcome to my blog! What you’ll find here is a mix of my thoughts and experiences about motivational spiritual gifts and other personality and relationships ideas. Thank you for reading, and I hope you’ll continue to learn and grow with me. I hope to post here about 2-3 times per week. Some of the content will be more interactive than others, but I urge you to read and be a part of this community!

This first blog will briefly tell you my expectations on what this place will be and how we will go forward in community together. I expect this to be a place where anyone can visit and become a part of whatever is happening at that time. But I also want to create a safe place for people to share their opinions—whether they are the same as mine and yours or not.

When people come together in any type of forum or group, there is always disagreement and people often challenge each other’s views. Please express and enjoy yourself but I am going to insist that comments remain courteous and respectful. I reserve the right to delete your comment if I find it is snarky, offensive, or off-topic—and Pushy Prophet Girl is not afraid to delete your comments! I support respectful disagreement, but I will not condone or allow rudeness.  Please keep this comments policy in mind as we interact together. I value all of your ideas and opinions as much if not more than my own!

If we can all follow these simple rules, this will be a community for everyone to enjoy. The most I can ask from you is that you do not take me too seriously, as I do not take myself too seriously. 🙂 If you have a differing opinion, please express it. Mostly, please know that I love to laugh and want to enjoy this place as much as possible. I am serious about us all learning from each other and about each other.

I hope to see you all around here for some discussions and fun as we discover more about our God-given gifts and personalities!