Tag Archives: Rejection

‘Tis So Sweet: ‘Neath the Healing Flood

ID-100463957“Oh how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
‘Neath the healing, cleansing flood!”
-‘Tis So Sweet to Trust In Jesus,  Louisa M. R. Stead

“And the Lord said to tell you that THIS TIME, your MIND will NOT get in the way!!”

My friend said those words forcefully during the prayer night as she spoke about THIS MAN. How did she know?, I thought to myself. I laughed a little bit as she said it, remembering all the past hurts I had experienced with guys and how I would obsess to the point of allowing even the smallest perceived rejection to send me spiraling out of control–to reject before I could be rejected. The most recent hurts, even though they were a couple of years in the past, were still on my mind a little bit. But I was pretty much over that stuff, fully accepting of myself and ready to date. So I agreed fully–she was right, God was right. I was in a much better place, and this time, my mind was not going to get in the way.

Honestly, I can’t decide whether I am naive or ignorant. I mean well; I’m not purposely thinking of myself as better than anyone else with regards to how I handle life. I guess for some reason, I believed that when the Lord said “My mind would not get in the way,” it meant there would be no issues or struggles. But that’s not what my friend said, and even more so, that is not what He meant…because that is not how He works. He works by bringing our core issues to the forefront so that we can work them out with fear and trembling. And that does not happen often without struggles.

So the first time I began to experience even a modicum of perceived rejection from THIS MAN, I freaked out a little bit. Mind you, I used the word “perceived” because that is all it was–my perception. A friend that I had (finally) confided in reminded me astutely: “Your mind is not going to get in the way.” I took this as a word straight from the Lord and let it go. But I was not as lucky this past weekend.

I was having my 10 percent day, and in the midst of it, I was feeling again a perceived rejection (again–PERCEIVED) when my flesh pounced. Instead of walking away from the damning thoughts, I waded neck deep into them. I stayed away from church, from the people who love me when I am at my deepest place of despair. I stayed in bed all day (since I hadn’t slept the night before), and I cried the majority of the day. I plotted and planned on how to make an easy escape from the difficulties of facing myself and THIS MAN; how to reject him before I could feel that rejection. I ruminated about it the entire day, making up excuses for why I could never be close to him–my personality was too big for him, he wasn’t mature enough, we didn’t have anything in common–and verbalizing why I perceived he was choosing not to be close to me. I obsessed and spiraled out of control, remembering the hurts that had been piled upon me from past relationships.

Normally, I would’ve done something extreme during those hours–unfollowed him on social media, sent a regrettable message, made my rejected feelings known in some way. But for some reason, I didn’t take any action. Then suddenly towards the day’s end, I started repeating Isaiah 26:3 to myself:

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”

It was almost immediate, the wave of relief that came over me. I felt like I had been literally plunged into His healing, cleansing flood. Peace washed over me as I settled down. My anxiety faded. My heart relaxed. My mind became focused on the immovable grace, peace, and love of Jesus.

And that was it. He was simply waiting for me to relent, to return. Waiting for me to come to the end of myself. Waiting to remind me that there’s so much more work to do in me than I even can see. And waiting to tell me that no rejection, real or perceived, from THIS MAN or any man can replace the acceptance He has given me as His precious daughter. I just need to trust Him and let His love heal and cleanse me.

I realize now that I will struggle, and that my mind may get the best of me on some days. But as long as I continue to trust Him, my mind will not get in the way. Not this time.

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Good Grief

crying doll by Theeradech Sanin

image courtesy of Theeradech Sanin / freedigitalphotos.net

My father died today. I don’t think that there’s three points that I can give you in a blog format to help you learn more about yourself through the death of my parent. So I’m just going to unjumble my thoughts and let them flow here, and I pray that God will bless you in some way as you read.

If you’ve read my testimony, you know that I didn’t have a great relationship with my dad. Celebrate Recovery helped me do a lot of grieving and releasing, but especially with my father. It was good to grieve the father I didn’t have, the father I always wanted…to let go of expectations and begin to accept the reality of who my father was. To release my feelings of rejection and revel in the acceptance of my heavenly Father. I continued to do that for the next five years, never really desiring a full-time relationship with him for many reasons. As more and more information about the man I called “Dad” has surfaced in recent weeks, I know that God has been protecting me by removing that desire from me. Instead, I have accepted him as the flawed, sinful man that he is and loved him from an appropriate distance. I am thankful that God indeed protected my heart and gave me the strength to set healthy boundaries.

A couple of things happened as I began to grieve a few weeks ago when I was alerted that my father was on his death bed. The first thing I noticed was that I couldn’t stop thinking about this one person with whom I had unfinished business. Death tends to bring out those unresolved situations in our lives, making us uneasy with leaving loose ends. Eventually I realized that what was on my mind was, “If I died today, is there anyone to whom I would need to make amends?” There was. I guess because my own father never realized the “error” of his ways and never sought to make amends with his children, I wanted to break that cycle. I could say “I’m sorry” and I could make amends. I wanted to start a new kind of cycle—one of grace and pure love modeled after Christ. And while I had been concerned because there had been no one to talk to about my situation (other than God), I eventually realized that I didn’t need to talk to someone else about it. I needed to talk to the offended party. So I sent an e-mail today. It was hard, and I cried more over that e-mail than I have cried for my deceased father. But I felt a burden lift once I pressed “send.” Life is too short for unfinished business, unforgiveness, and loose ends.

Second, I realized that I wasn’t carrying any burden towards my father. Finding out a few really terrible things about him in the last few days, I thought I would feel heavier about things. When I confessed his deplorable acts to a friend, she assured me that who my father was is not who I am. I reassured her confidently that I didn’t feel that anyway—and it was true. I felt disconnected from that because I had forgiven him. But I also felt disconnected from that because my identity is not in my earthly father anymore. I have secured my identity as a princess of the King and a crazy but amazing pushy prophet girl, and because of that, there is no burden for being my earthly father’s daughter. Whatever heinous acts my father may have committed, they do not belong to me…I have been cleansed and forgiven. I am my Father’s child.

Third, I realized the significance of sexual sin in my generational history. Numbers 14:18 says, “The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but he will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and the fourth generation.’” I know that my grandfather and father’s iniquities have visited the generations below them and through me, and that is important for me to accept and understand in my continual quest for purity. Indeed, though I am my Father’s child, I now have some idea as to why I have struggled so mightily in the area of sexual purity. However, what grace and love the Father lavishes on us, that I can not only call myself His child but that I can receive forgiveness and cleansing from the sins of my forefathers. I am ready to break the cycle and bring forth a generation of purity. My tears have not been wasted; they have been collected by a loving Daddy who intends to use them to cleanse future generations as they walk in their PureID™. What joy that brings me!

So I stand here not crying, but instead praising! Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow, and I thank You, Jesus, for the opportunity to experience this blessed, good grief. Amen!

This Is My Story, This Is My Song: The Fourth Eight

“Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8

story song by Grant Cochrane

image courtesy of Grant Cochrane / freedigitalphotos.net

My break from ministry did not last long; after about eight months, I found another job in youth ministry and moved closer to DC. I thought things were turning around…I was starting to settle down a bit. But something still was not right. I was not happy in youth ministry. Perhaps I was burnt out; perhaps youth ministry was not for me. Whatever the reason, I was searching for community and had yet to find it. I left that ministry job after a few years and moved to another church in the same county. Meanwhile, a ministry friend invited me to attend a young adult Bible study that her new pastor had started. I ended up not only attending the Bible study but leading the worship band at her church while still serving as the youth minister at another. However, like they always had, things fell apart at my youth ministry job, and I was once again searching for what to do with my life. I applied for the worship pastor position at my friend’s church (now my church) and didn’t get it; thus, I continued to struggle with what God was asking me to do. After a few weeks in Phoenix to settle my brain, I took the first job I was offered at a data company back in Maryland.

In the next year, my life exploded as I was imploding emotionally. I had a terrible fight with my pastor and left my church and worship leadership position abruptly. I decided to stop talking to my family altogether. I was really struggling to make sense of my life. I hated my job, my family, and my life. And then, I began attending a young adult ministry at a nearby church and I met him. He was an incredible man…my total opposite, perhaps, in that he was sensitive and compassionate in great contrast to my brash honesty. I was attracted to him like a moth to a flame. He was good looking and funny, and I just wanted to be around him. Our friendship was filled with pain and confusion, though, mostly because he was the first God-honoring man I had ever been attracted to and, thanks to my warped porn-and-lust-addicted mind, I had no idea how to treat him. Even though we had admitted a mutual attraction existed, I was (unbeknownst to me) completely un-dateable. I wanted so badly to have someone love me in the ways I had never been loved that I pushed and pushed…until finally, I pushed him away for good. I was broken, and for the first time in my life, I knew it. The day after our friendship ended, I attended my first Celebrate Recovery meeting.

One lesson I learned from my fourth eight is to never underestimate where the desire for true love, acceptance, and intimacy will take you. My longing had taken me to many worldly places—pornography, partying, fantasy, and deeper into myself. However, the longing was never truly filled, and in the end, the pain of staying the same—always losing relationships and jobs—became too much for me to bear. I knew where to find true acceptance and love—I had known since I was eight years old—but I had not been willing to surrender my pride to the pain of changing for the better. I had never TRULY surrendered my issues to God because of my need for control. But in the fourth eight, everything changed. I wanted to know true love and I wanted to know how to love—and the only way I could find those things was to run straight into the arms of the Author of love, who was waiting to heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds.

Where has the longing for true love, acceptance, and intimacy taken you?

This Is My Story, This Is My Song: The Third Eight

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? –Matthew 7:3

story song by Grant Cochrane

image courtesy of Grant Cochrane / freeditigalphotos.net

I graduated from high school one week after turning 17 and headed off to college at James Madison University. I spent my first two years at college struggling to find myself and my faith. I struggled with drinking and partying and having no relationship at all with God, at one point even telling my mother I wasn’t sure if I believed in God anymore. While I had stopped looking at pornography when I came to college, it had already taken its place in my mind, changing the way I looked at people and the expectations I had for them. I cut people out of my life if they didn’t meet my criteria for what “good people” were. I judged people, had very little grace, and carried around a great deal of shame.

When I decided to turn my life over to Jesus my junior year, I left my former partying friends and joined a campus ministry, determined to change my course. But even there, I maintained that everything with me was great. No one knew that I was still secretly struggling with my self-worth and self-image, with being transparent and honest with others, and with having true intimacy in my life. I was hiding everything about myself behind academic and musical excellence. I made great friends but felt like no one understood me or the deep shame I had about my pornography addiction and struggles with lust and fantasy. I also continued to push people away with my brash and judgmental personality, leaving a trail of hurt friends in my path as I boldly proclaimed truth without love. I could see the everyone else’s faults, but I could not see my own. Even as God called me into youth ministry once I graduated from JMU, I continued losing these battles. In addition, my relationship with my family became strained. My internal struggles eventually became external, and I was abruptly fired from a youth ministry job. I took a break from working in ministry, believing that everyone else was to blame.

There I was: with broken relationships, a struggling career, and very little to call my own. I was too broken to see it then, but looking back, I can see that the common denominator in my problems was me. Too often people will look at their lives and say that they have constantly been victimized or dealt a bad hand—and sometimes, this is true. Other times, however, we are too quick to look at outside sources as the cause for our problems while refusing to look within. Why? Because it is easier to place blame than accept it. Even the Bible acknowledges this in Matthew 7:3—I was more likely to see others’ issues than my own. And Matthew 7:5 continues, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” And to be successful in ministry and life as a prophet gift, I would need to learn this difficult but important lesson.

In response to her penchant for writing songs about her failed relationships, someone said, “Did Taylor Swift ever consider that maybe she’s the problem?” Great question! Now, can we turn that around on ourselves, in our own situations, and ask, “Have I ever considered that perhaps I am the problem?” Because it’s when we are brave enough to look in the mirror instead of the windshield that we can begin to truly tackle our own issues and begin to heal.

Where do you most often look when problems arise: the windshield or the mirror?

This Is My Story, This Is My Song: The Second Eight

“For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.” Luke 8:17

story song by Grant Cochrane

image courtesy of Grant Cochrane / freedigitalphotos.net

The hurt and loss from my first eight years never showed itself too much—I think my mother would say that I was a happy, well-adjusted child. I continued to excel in school and music, became incredibly involved in my church and youth group, and contributed to my community through volunteering and other fun activities. On the surface, everything seemed to be going extremely well for me, despite the deteriorating relationship with my father; despite a sister who was beginning to show signs of instability (requiring most of my mother’s attention); despite feeling like a bold, loud “ugly duckling” that no one desired. But soon, the hurt and loss I had experienced manifested itself through a dirty little secret.

It started innocently, really. My uncle had a satellite dish installed in my grandfather’s home because we lived outside the town limits and didn’t have cable television. Little did anyone know that there were some not-so-innocent pornographic channels streaming from the dish for free—not-so-innocent porn that a very innocent 10-year-old me saw and found intriguing. Before long, I was watching it as much as I possibly could. When the satellite dish stopped streaming, I switched to magazines I had found hidden in my grandfather’s house. My brain was filled with images and thoughts that I couldn’t keep inside, so in middle school and high school, I began writing my own pornographic novels, passing them around to my friends and filling their minds with the images and filth that saturated my own. I began experimenting sexually with boys, and I also developed an active fantasy life: an escape from reality—one in which I had control and felt loved and desired. When my sister was losing control or I was feeling rejected by boys or my father or I felt completely alone, I had a “safe place” to go—deep inside my head to fantasy land. On the outside, I was at the top of my class, excelling in music and academics with plenty of friends and an active church life. On the inside, I was struggling to keep it together.

The second eight years of my life reminds me of an important lesson: we should never overestimate the resiliency of children. We often say “kids are resilient” in hopes that the traumas they experience will just roll off them like water off a duck’s back. However, children are still humans with feelings, and even more importantly, they do not always know how to express what they are feeling. And when they do not know how to express their feelings, they will act out—and acting out looks different to each kid. For me, I acted out in secret. To everyone, including my mother, I was the “good Christian kid.” I played well by myself, could spend infinite amounts of time alone, got great grades, was incredibly responsible, and was a model child for the most part. My mom had no trouble with me because I was very good at hiding my pornography addiction, fantasy life, and sexual sins. But those were just the symptoms of a deeper issue: the hurt, rejection, and loss I had experienced in the first eight years of my life. And instead of addressing those issues, I developed other problems and addictions to cope. We notice when adults do this, but we don’t always recognize when it happens with children because we assume they will “get over it” easier. I can tell you from my own personal experience that this is not the case.

The Bible says in Luke 8:17 that all things that are in secret will eventually be brought into the light. Whether it comes to light through confession or a “symptom” like addiction, the truth is simple: we cannot outrun or overlook our hurt and pain at any age.

What hurt have you been trying to overlook or outrun?

This Is My Story, This Is My Song: The First Eight

“This is my story/This is my song/Praising my Savior all the day long!” Over the next few blogs, I will be sharing my life testimony with you, including the lessons I’ve learned from my past, the excitement I am experiencing in the present, and the hope I have for my future. Blessings!

“Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul.” –Psalm 66:16

story song by Grant Cochrane

image courtesy of Grant Cochrane / freedigitalphotos.net

On Valentine’s Day in 1977, my mother went to the doctor believing she had a stomach tumor. As it turned out, she was actually pregnant with her second child—me. She was in the midst of separating from my father, and thus, in June 1977, I was born into a single parent home to my mom and a sister who was three and half years old. My father remarried when I was six months old to a woman I knew and loved my entire life as my stepmother.

I grew up in a relatively tight-knit family with my mom and sister, living next door to my grandparents (and sometimes my uncle). My father and stepmother lived in the same town, about 15 minutes away, though I only saw him sporadically as I was growing up. My earliest memory of my father is of him coming over to take my sister out—and leaving me behind. The rejection and isolation I felt, even at that young age, was palpable. It was the first of many rejections at the hands of my earthly father. Despite this, in my primary years, I excelled at school and found my many gifts—especially music. I attended church constantly with my family, and when I was eight years old, I responded to an altar call at my church and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I was in third grade. That same year, my maternal grandmother died of colon cancer. I had lived next door to her my entire life, as she spoiled me with homemade candies and a true grandmother’s love. This loss was devastating to me personally. Shortly after her death, to help care for my aging grandfather, we moved next door into his house with him.

My primary years were marked by changes and loss, and though it was difficult, I can look back and see a valuable lesson that marked the first eight years of my life: You are never too young to begin a relationship with Christ. Even though I was only eight, beginning my journey with God at such a young age helped established the strong foundation in my life that has continued to this day. I’m not saying I haven’t struggled or doubted. But looking back, I can see that God was always with me during the rejection, the loss, and the suffering I experienced from life. Isaiah 41:10 says, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Though I could not physically see God through my eight year old eyes, now I look back and see the truth of this verse lived out in my early years. I was rejected, but not alone. I experienced loss, but He helped me—even as a third grader with no deep knowledge of Him. God upheld me through this time of significant loss and change early in my life, and He still does the same for me today.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” I am thankful that my mother not only believed this verse but lived it out so that I had a strong foundation on which to stand while facing the struggles that lay ahead for me in the next eight years.

If God can strengthen, help, and uphold a naïve, rejected, eight-year-old girl, what could He do for you today? 

Becoming Fearlessly Fulfilled: Worth Finding

woman by anankkml

image courtesy of anankkml / freedigitalphotos.net

I wasn’t more than four years old. My dad was coming over to pick us up to spend time with him. I was waiting anxiously in the living room when he arrived—except he didn’t want me to go along with him. So he took only my sister and left me behind feeling things that I now can describe as rejection and worthlessness—deep threads woven into my life at such an early age. It’s not the only memory I have, but it’s one of the strongest. 

Far too many people struggle with these types of feelings and memories: we walk around trying to fill the void, manage the pain, and/or move ahead in life by ignoring it. I filled mine with everything I could possibly find: pornography, musical talents, lust, bad relationships, false confidence, and even church work through a career in ministry. The problem is, like many people, I was not properly dealing with the real issue: a lack of self-worth.

Many women have asked me how they can find their self-worth. I wish that I could give a three-step process to finding your personal worth, but I can only make suggestions based on how I eventually found mine. So here are a few things I’ve learned in my continual journey towards self-worth:

  1. Seek healing for your wounds. As I’ve noted, I completed the Celebrate Recovery step study process and that was the bulk of my healing process. CR may not work for everyone, but it provided for me what I needed to work through my pain. I’m not talking about managing your pain; I’m talking about working through your pain, finding Jesus amidst your pain, and allowing Him to lead you out of your pain. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). We must surrender to the difficult pressing to be truly delivered—whether through CR, counseling, coaching, or whatever means works best for us.
  2. Believe what God says about you in His Word. My woundedness inhibited me from truly experiencing the joy of being a child of God. Even though I was a youth pastor, working full-time in ministry, I still did not believe what God said about me in His Word. I knew what God said about me—that I was chosen, royal, holy, a princess, his daughter, a co-heir with Christ, beloved, worthy, His workmanship, a citizen of heaven, His friend—but I did not live like it. Once I moved out of my pain, I was free to accept and begin living as who God says I am, not who the world says I am. Now, I don’t just know it, I believe it!
  3. Submit to the lifelong process. Notice that I said I learned these things in my “continual journey” towards self-worth. I am not done. In fact, the Bible says that we are still works in progress that will not be finished until we meet Jesus (Galatians 5:5). While we are “eagerly awaiting” our completion, we should be constantly challenging ourselves to grow in Christ. There are still parts of me that need full submission to God and tons of work. But the more I give these areas and myself to Him, the more my worth becomes grounded in who Christ is and who He says I am. 

To become fearlessly fulfilled, you must find your worth in the Person of Jesus Christ, the One who created you and loves you—the One who knows you are worth finding.

How have you begun your journey towards self-worth? Share in the comments or Contact Me to start your journey today!

Mind Matters: Moving from Rejection to Acceptance

A few years ago, I had a crush on a colleague of mine named Ed. (That’s his real name—he deserves credit for this one.) Ed and I were both student ministers serving at different churches, and I had no idea what to do about my crush. If you know any prophets, you know that prophets HAVE to tell people where they stand with them. So in true pushy prophet girl nature, I sent him a birthday card (it was NOT his birthday—humor) in which I let him know I had a crush on him.

accepted by basketman

image courtesy of basketman / freedigitalphotos.net

Ed sent me an e-mail in return that was quite simply the sweetest rejection I had ever received. In it, he noted that he had been in my situation before, and he wanted to be as grace-filled as possible in letting me down. He also promised that there would be no weirdness between us as friends. I was disappointed, but I don’t even remember if I cried: what I remembered was that I felt accepted and I felt grace, even in the midst of being rejected.

Thinking about all the rejection that I’ve personally faced is tough, but that one grace-filled acceptance reminded me of three keys to handling rejection—whether you’re on the giving end or the receiving end:

  1. Remember that rejection is not always personal. In my story, Ed was in a new relationship that he wanted to see through. (FYI: that relationship became his marriage.) Sometimes, it’s not the circumstance for you. But remember my previous blog about God accepting you? Well, He also knows what’s best for you and has plans to prosper you and not to harm you (Jeremiah 29:11). And that job, that person, or that circumstance may not be what is best for you now, but God knows what is and He is saving you for that.
  2. Weave grace and acceptance into rejection. The way Ed handled me was filled with grace and acceptance. Why? Because he had been in the same situation before. We have all been rejected in our lives, and we know the pain it can cause. So if we want to be emotionally mature adults, we should strive not to cause that kind of pain but instead to deliver acceptance and compassion to others (Ephesians 4:31-32). So remember rejection feels like and aim to improve the experience by asking God for His compassion to help you—whether you’re giving or receiving it. Pay acceptance and compassion forward.
  3. Use both rejection and acceptance to grow and move forward. In my case, I was not ready for an Ed (a boyfriend). I looked at myself and began to see ways that I could improve my communication, my emotional health, and a number of things that God needed to work on in me. So is there something you could improve about yourself? There is a God who accepts you, just as you are, but He doesn’t want to leave you that way. Truly accepted people become truly accepting people (Cloud and Townsend), and we should keep growing in Christ to build up ourselves and His church (Ephesians 4:15-16).

Experiencing rejection can be a time for growth, but it can also be a time to experience grace and acceptance. In fact, choose to make acceptance the norm in the midst of rejection. You can say no and deny others when necessary, but the challenge is, can you do it with grace and compassion?

Mind Matters: Rejected!

rejected by suphakit73

image courtesy of suphakit73 / freedigitalphotos.net

The earliest memory I have is one that I have relived many times. I am standing at the front door—no more than five years old—where my dad has come to get my sister to spend time with her. The problem: I am his daughter, too, but he doesn’t acknowledge that and leaves me behind. It was not the first time, nor was it the last time, that I felt rejection. That one moment, seemingly stuck forever in my mind, flavored the way I looked at the world and how accepted I felt—by others and by myself. I learned far too early to reject others before they could reject me—and I have spent most of my life fighting a spirit of rejection.

Rejection is a regular occurrence in our lives today. It is easy to feel rejected by the myriad of social media actions that create false acceptance in our lives. Did someone “retweet” you? How many “likes” did your status update receive? Did that person “love” your picture? Did someone “pin” your story on their board? If not, does that affect how you feel about yourself? Do you then try even harder to get acceptance through these false mediums?

Surely God shakes His head over humanity and our deep misunderstanding of what acceptance truly is. He has told us in “eternal ink” where our acceptance should come from and how we can get it. To change our mindset and feelings about being rejected, we must know what His Word says about it:

  • God will never reject you. Psalm 27:10 says “For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.” It does not matter how many humans have rejected you and in what way they have done it. God will take you in and He will not forsake you, reject you, or throw you away—no matter what you have done.
  • God chose you. It is more than just NOT being rejected—the truth is that you are accepted and chosen by God (John 15:16; 1 Peter 2:9). Though there are different theologies behind the term “chosen,” this simply means that God has always wanted you. From the beginning of time, He chose you and desired you and wanted a relationship with you. Think about that for a moment: the God and Creator of the entire universe chose you personally to be His beloved. And God does not make mistakes. Shouldn’t walking in that reality change how you view the rejection or acceptance of others? (Yes, it should!)
  • God appointed you. He did not just choose us and leave us. He then appointed us, calling us out of darkness and into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9). He appointed us to be His spokesmen to the nations (Jeremiah 1:5). He appointed us to bear fruit that would last so that whatever we ask in His name, we will receive (John 15:16). These amazing truths tell us that God wants us so much, He has special assignments for us. No human acceptance could ever compete with this glorious truth.

Even today, I struggle with remembering that other people’s rejection of me is not what matters; what matters is how God feels about me. And though I sometimes struggle, I remind myself–and that little girl–that God loves me and is constantly pursuing me, and that He is the only One who will never reject me and always accepts me—just as I am. 

What are some Bible verses that help you overcome feelings of rejection?